I have to take a pause in my Alexander Technique training, after having gone through only one semester of the nine necessary to become certified as a teacher by AmSAT. I continue with taking private lessons though.
So, I am having a table-turn-only lesson because my knee is totally messed up. No chair turns for me right now. I am tense. I can’t even bend my knee, so I extend it and my teacher puts a pillow under it. I am able to keep my other leg bent. My knee hurts with sharp pain, and all the muscles of my leg are aching. My other leg hurts too, obviously because I am walking in a funny way. My entire body reverberates with the pain. I am exhausted from the pain. What is wrong: an MRI showed a meniscus torn in two places, but more importantly, irregularities in the bone. So I am undergoing every medical test in the book to find out if I have any nasty cancer type thing happening before I am cleared to have surgery. I am learning to live with ambiguity while I wait for the results.
I tell my teacher that I am revisiting that time when I first started Alexander lessons, perhaps because I am in lots of pain again, that I feel I am losing ground because I cannot train, and because my life as I know it is on hold yet again: twilight zone time. And he told me that this scenario is impossible, as since I have been taking lessons with him (now for over a year) I have become so adept at inhibiting and directing and of course, I had done one and a half years of lessons before he and I started working together, and that I had my semester of training. So I will not lose a thing, not to worry. Hmmm…
After only about five minutes into the lesson, all of a sudden, all the tension just up and leaves my body and it is a moment of sheer bliss. I feel like a rag doll in control. As I often tell myself after a lesson, “wow that was the best lesson I ever had.” Profound stuff. So I am thinking that this forced pause will be highly beneficial. It will enable me to sort out my thoughts.