In this training hiatus I went down to have a lesson with my trainer. I have been so wiped out…jetlagged out…that I was experiencing a kind of vertigo when walking in the street…I’ve been feeling very fragile. The studio looked strange…everything in NYC looks a bit strange right now…but happy to report that being there did feel like being chez moi…
The lesson was the usual: chair table chair. Nothing more. That’s all I wanted and needed. I didn’t even ask how I was doing…if I had regressed in any way.
I told my trainer that I couldn’t get the notion out of my head that while I’m in this three year Alexander Technique teacher training I’m feeling like my life is on hold. Spending the time in training…the fourteen hours a week in class, plus the time spent doing all the reading…cuts into my schedule big time. My social life is definitely reduced. I have another two years of such a schedule. Time, energy, funds spent… I have to scramble to fit in everything important to me.
My trainer told me that he sees the situation in a different light. He said to me “this is your life now.” He said that no way is my life on hold. Wow! What a notion! Indeed…this is my life now! My trainer’s words are having a spectacular effect on how I am now viewing this moment in my life. I think he provided me with a kind of validation that the noise in my brain was obscuring.
I guess it’s all about finding the perfect balance. And for welcoming and embracing everything…especially this time spent in the training. And for living each moment of my life as fully as possible. Everything in present tense.
I realized when I left that my strange vertigo had mostly disappeared.