Bittersweet

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique, torn meniscus.

After over two months since my knee surgery I finally was able to go back to work. At first I was feeling kind of timid. It was feeling like I was starting a new job. I found that I was receiving two sorts of welcomes…the heart felt ones from colleagues who were so happy to see me back, and the ones which were totally perfunctory. I was grateful to have been absent for so long to find out who really cared about me. Great knowledge to have! Bittersweet. And then…well…I started receiving hugs. Hugs all around! So many hugs! I cannot remember receiving so many hugs at one particular time. All day long. Some of my co-workers didn’t know where I had been. “Yo Rena, haven’t seen you in awhile. Were you in France?” “Nah…knee surgery.” One of my colleagues, who had also had had time off because of torn meniscus surgery simply said “see I told you” (that I would be out longer than the four weeks I had imagined). Wow to be surrounded by my fabulous co-workers! Amazing energy! Big shot in the arm!

I had a conversation with a French guy who came in. He and I have opposite situations. His wife is American and they visit NYC twice a year. My husband was French and I visit France often. So we blabbed away in French about it all, kind of thrilled by the impromptu exchange. I told him that I had to cancel my planned January trip to Paris because of my knee situation. Oh the sales I will be missing! Hélas! And I began to again wonder about the transformation that happens in me when I change languages. A friend of mine had told me that when I speak French I flip a switch and immediately become joyful and animated. I glow. He says that it happens every time. I finally understand why. I become a different version of myself and I can actually pretend not to be me. Everything sort of shifts. I go outside of myself. I am now wondering about the psychophysical/linguistic reasons that enable this positive-ized transformation of myself. When I speak a different language I hold my jaw in a different way, I gesture a different way, even the pitch of my voice changes. Of course I speak with a totally different intonation. This New Yorker becomes parisienne. I trade one unique accent for another. I drop different syllables. Well, yet again, I was reminded how happy I am to be the de facto French translator at work!

So…how do I feel now being at my “new job?” Well…I feel that I inhibit and direct with total aplomb! That’s how I feel! I feel a tad removed, and very objective about everything and everyone. It’s a great place to be in, I must say! I hear that I have really great energy. I certainly am smiling a lot! So…obviously I do not have much time for AT lessons right now. I mean, after work, I have to go home and ice my knee. I am finding that, at the end of my work day, well, my poor knee is all inflamed and stuff. Obviously I’m in for a long haul. But when I think that even two weeks prior to my first day back, I couldn’t at all stand up much, or walk much, well, I’m totally cool with my physical state of being at the moment.

I came across a bagel café in Paris this summer but I didn’t try it. After all, I do not even bother to purchase camembert here in NYC, do I?

I came across this bagel joint in Paris in July…I didn't try it...

I came across this bagel joint in Paris in July…I didn’t try it…

Forward and up…

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique.

Lately I especially think about freeing up my neck. I kind of had an epiphany the other day while having a chair turn with a friend who is a longtime Alexander teacher.  She worked on my neck and then had me put hands on her so that I could feel the difference between my normal habit and the correct way of holding my cervical spine and my head. My entire cervical spine is fused, well, C3 through C7 to be exact, due to the laminoplasty, the neurosurgery, performed on my spine. My spine had to be fused, to prevent further damage to my spinal cord. More damage and I could have wound up paralyzed. I had thought, and I had been told, that I could not elongate nor move that part of my spine. Not true! As my friend demonstrated! It was definitely a lightbulb-going-off moment for me. I now think lots about lengthening my cervical spine…and even if I just give it a gentle wish to lengthen…well I think that does the trick. I have been holding my head too forward. I must really think about lengthening my cervical spine to hold my head in a better position. Does this make sense? Forward and up, chers amis!

I was assured that my new habit will eventually replace my old habit as I continue to work on this. So, as I held my cervical spine as per my friend’s directions, I realized that it feels weird because my old, faulty habit seems natural. Now, held correctly, it feels kind of like I am tilting my head backwards. It feels like I am holding tension in my neck…but I don’t think I am!

As you can imagine, I am unduly preoccupied with thoughts of my cervical spine. If you remember, it was constant pain resulting from that laminoplasty that finally made me investigate Alexander Technique. Well, I must find my x-rays so that  you can see the titanium rods and clips that made for the fusion and that keep my spinal column open. Very bionic. Très super chic!  Well I will find those x-rays eventually, I promise.

Xray of cervical spine

Xray of cervical spine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So a few days later, I talked this over with my main teaching dude. We were discussing how the very top of my cervical spine can move, and the very bottom can. So I have to work within the parameters of what is physically possible. Indeed, the old habit of crunching down, and carrying my head forward, has to be gently replaced by a new habit of lengthening and keeping my head back. And of course when I crunch down, other parts of my body will be impacted. Tension! For me, the main thing is to lengthen that part of my spine as best as I can, so that my psychophysical self can be as healthy as possible. And we were wondering how exactly my spine was fused. This I need to find out!

same as Image:Gray 111 - Vertebral column.png ...

same as Image:Gray 111 – Vertebral column.png but coloured (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Metamorphosis

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique, torn meniscus.

It was snowing that morning. I was in the Times Square station, changing from the Broadway local to the BMT to go downtown. It was rush hour. People were wet, angry, in a rush, pushing. Even though I was going downtown for another yucky medical test, and even though I was in the middle of a collective grouch scene, well, I realized that I was floating. I felt so light, I was lengthening and widening, I was not gripping in my knees or my elbows, as is my want. I just felt great. Wow…Alexander Technique! I was under the spell of my recent spate of five lessons within eight days, all my AT lessons in general, along with my one semester of teacher training. I was luxuriating in all that. I was thinking that if I could feel so great in such circumstances, under the status quo, well, the transformation that I will undergo during my hopefully soon to be resumed training will be enormous. Happiness!

Times Square Subway Station

During the medical test, I had the “let my neck be free” mantra going in my head, and I did whispered ahs. I pretended that I was doing a table turn. And then, I made it back uptown. It was no longer rush hour so the atmosphere in the subway was lighter. On the walk home I bought a cheddar cheese and chive brioche from a local bakery. Once home, I enjoyed it with a big cup of coffee…while meditating on the fact that I would not have time for such intense AT hands on until I start training again. My feeling great would have to last awhile. Soon I would be going back to work.

And I do believe that I will be returning to work transformed, totally chilled out. I had just received an amazing e-mail from one of the senior managers at work. He is excited for my return! And so am I! Now I am psyched. I feel that the surgery-provoked hibernation period is coming to a close.

The weather was really inclement. I was hunkering in for the day. I got out my Loeb edition of Ovid’s Metamorphoses and re-read the Pygmalion narrative. I started meditating on what to make for dinner…

Pygmalion and Galatea

Pygmalion and Galatea (Photo credit: peterjr1961)

Doucette the cat had “an accident” that night…

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique, torn meniscus.

Just the other day my pain level went down to…acceptable??? And my spirits lifted…just like that. Well, other great stuff was happening in my life as well, but the cream puff of spirits lifting sure was the diminishing level of pain. Immediate reduction of stress. This is happening just in time, as I am supposed to go back to work shortly.  Doucette the cat umm…had an “accident” on the bed that night…elle a fait pipi…of course on purpose…so the next morning was spent doing laundry and making up the bed again. I wish she could just tell me what’s wrong but alas…sigh. I inhibited my usual reaction of getting upset quite nicely. No startle response. I just sighed.

a cream puff.

a cream puff. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have managed to turn my mood around. Of course, having had five AT lessons in the span of eight days certainly helped turn me around. Three lessons with the usual suspect, and two lessons with two different teachers. I scheduled these lessons as an anti-having the blues prevention. Guess what? My strategy worked! And guess what? The usual suspect remarked that my ribs are moving much more than they used to. Too cool!

I was thinking about all the lovely things that happened on that first day of less pain. I had great conversations in person, via telephone, and by messaging with amazing people all day and all night long. Had a wonderful conversation with a cousin, and I realized that she understands oh so well.  Great talk with a neurologist friend who is totally thrilled that I am doing AT and, in fact, that I am going to continue my training at some point. On my part, I was thrilled to find that he is familiar with the Technique. I had so much great input from so many terrific, supportive people. I am very grateful to…friends near and afar, family, and yeah, la mauvaise Doucette the cat. Such great energy beaming my way!

Judith Leibowitz wrote “The aspect of the Alexander Technique I want to focus on is stress and how using the Technique can help to minimize the negative physical effects of stress. Use of the Alexander Technique will also release excess tension into a dynamic balance of tension in the body that is carried into activity.” This was the opening of an unpublished manuscript of hers…I guess it was from a paper presented in 1985…and it was published in the AmSAT Fall Journal of 2013, number 4. I happened to be reading this as my mood was lifting. “Well yeah” said I to myself. And I thought of my neurologist friend’s explanations of how working on the body can create new synapses, etcetera in the brain. He told me that Charles Sherrington was an oldie but goodie and long dead hahaha. I will have to confer with him on more up to date reading. He kind of lost me with his technical, scientific jargon, but, his message was crystal clear. I must inform myself and explore the neurological ramifications of the Technique.

I went home after the last of my series of lessons feeling pretty floaty. I was thinking that some champagne that evening would be grand. I thought I had a split in my fridge, but alas, I was wrong.

On a homeopathic pain/inflammation remedy note…arnica gel works great for me; comfrey root is banned in the USA.

Below is a photo of Doucette when she first came to live with me four and one half years ago. I am noticing how retro this photo is. A Filofax omg! No iPhone! How did I manage? Doucette had captured the orange pompom “mouse” hanging from her cat house. She was very attached to it for a long time. She used to take it with her wherever she went! Gratuitous photo? No way! I really appreciate her great use of self!

Doucette posing with her captured orange pompom mouse

Doucette posing with her captured orange pompom mouse

Pain

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique, torn meniscus.

“We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full.”

Marcel Proust

Pain is ephemeral to me. It’s hard to describe. When it’s gone…I forget how it felt, how bad it was. I just remember that I had been in pain. I vaguely remember abject pain–after my laminoplasty–the neurosurgery performed on my cervical spine. I remember the agony of the bone marrow biopsy I underwent. I remember moaning over and over “ça me fait mal…that is hurting me!” The hematologist was francophone so…all my moaning and groaning was en français. Weirdly enough, changing languages was kind of a comfort to me. It took me out of my everyday NYC scene. Can I describe the quality of those bouts of severe pain?  Well I can say that I would wish a bone marrow biopsy on my worst enemy. As for my post-op neurosurgery pain, what I really remember was the bliss of drinking my first coffee after coming out of the anesthesia. I had begged one of the doctor’s looking in at me for a coffee at Starbucks. He asked me where Starbucks was, and I giggled as I told him that there was one at the cafeteria and one on the ground floor of the hospital. So he brought me a cup. It was heavenly…even though I was so out of it and shaky that I spilled it all over my brand new neck brace and my hospital gown. I wanted so badly to thank that lovely doctor, but in my morphine-induced haze, his name slipped out of my memory. I will never forget that act of kindness!

So now I am in another kind of pain. Pain-wise, well, it’s nothing in the scheme of things. What it is is constant, all-the-time pain. It’s a different kind of stress because it’s been going on since July. It wears me down. However, the quality is different since my surgery. Before it impinged greatly on how I could move. I couldn’t walk much and when I did it was in a funny way. I favored the other leg so both legs hurt. Thinking about Alexander Technique ramifications: I couldn’t do a normal lie down with my leg bent at my knee. I had to extend my leg with a pillow under it. I could not do any chair work whatsoever. Since the surgery, my wound hurts. Scar tissue. Inflammation. And also all my leg muscles are weak, as they atrophied as soon as the surgery happened. When I do my exercises in p/t and at home, well my muscles become really sore, much like after doing mega-weights on leg press at the gym for the first time ever. My limited walking around town to do my errands now wipes me out. On the Alexander Technique front there is good news: well, now I can manage a regular table turn, and wonderfully, I can do chair turns. Next up for me: monkey alone and monkey while putting hands on my teacher.

Impermanence

Impermanence (Photo credit: Philofoto)

I am upset because I have to postpone my return to work for a few weeks. I’m extremely bummed out by this. The healing process is very slow. So I must embrace the slow pace and just trust that eventually I will be fine. And that the remembrance of this pain will fade like the other really severe pain I have experienced in my life.

Pain teaches me lots. In a way it’s kind of a friend as it is a constant companion. “Hey pain, how are you doing?” It helps me examine my use of self. It slows me down. I feel that am really now learning how to inhibit and direct. I must really think about how my body is moving. It puts things in perspective for me. It teaches me to really appreciate not having pain at all. It is clear to me that I am indeed getting better slowly. I have much better range of motion. My muscles are getting stronger. I think pain this time around is more immediate to me because I am so much more aware of my psycho-physical self through my exposure to AT.

So, one of my preoccupations now is fitting in as many AT lessons as I can, despite the circumstances. I am greedy for AT! I ache to start training again.

This pain is giving me distance and objectivity for all aspects of my life. I find that I am stepping back and re-evaluating everything I do. I am re-evaluating all my relationships. It’s like my pain and I are throwing up a bunch of life pick up sticks and they are now falling in the most correct places.

There is a prayer pronounced in synagogue, the Mi She-berach. This particular blessing is recited on behalf of a sick person. I do have dear friends saying Mi She-berach for me right now every Shabbat! Terrific, right? I am being taken care of in many ways.

Meditation mode…

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique, torn meniscus.

I’m in quite the pensive mood these days…thinking about all the vicissitudes of my life…what to reveal…what to write about.

“It occurred to me today that I’m not as far along as I thought. Writing my story isn’t the courageous act of liberation I had hoped it would be. Writing is solitary, furtive, and I know all about those things. I’m an expert in the underground life… Still, you can only do what you’re able. If this story is written only for myself, then so be it. But it doesn’t feel that way. I feel you out there, reader. This is the only kind of intimacy I’m comfortable with. Just the two of us, here in the dark.”  Middlesex, p. 319.

Pensive

Pensive

Yeah definitely. For sure. In a certain way, me too, I’m an expert in the underground life. And even writing a blog is a solitary and furtive pursuit! I am in meditation mode what with this enforced pause from my normal everyday life. I’m sort of isolated. Some friends come to visit me, and I hang out with others but only in my neighborhood. I am so grateful for their company! I am e-mailing and messaging mega big-time and I am so grateful to be able to communicate with friends who are far away! I play lots of Bach. I feel like a hothouse flower here holed up in my apartment. I’m sometimes sad with isolation as I lie down icing my knee; other times I do remember to smile and I’m happy and content with my routine of rehab, practicing, reading and writing.

Monsieur came over the other day and we seriously and soberly talked. Our talk made me wonder if I could ever share, on this blog or wherever, some of what we were talking about. That would be amazing and liberating…and maybe helpful for others. Someday maybe I will be able to…after my training…when I am teaching…

Nonetheless…big step for me: I did make it down to chez Thomas Vasiliades for what I think of as a real lesson, and it was my first time being there since the beginning of October. It was so great to see the place again! It felt like my regular life was slowly coming back to me even though it will take me months to recuperate. We did chair, table, chair. No activity at this one, my leg being oh so sore. He told me that my left leg muscles were still much weaker than my right ones. Sigh…much more work to do. More serious talking… I am always wondering how the mind/brain can change so drastically when one receives hands on work to the body. I am so interested in the neurological ramifications of this. This lesson was capital: many of my concerns about continuing my training evaporated with this lesson. It is totally clear to me now that I should continue to train after this hiatus.

À propos of some of our discussion, he later sent me this quote from Charles Sherrington, the father of modern neuroscience:  “Mr. Alexander has done a service to the subject (of the study of reflex and voluntary movement) by insistently treating each act as involving the whole integrated individual, the whole psychophysical man. To take a step is an affair, not of this or that limb solely, but of the total neuromuscular activity of the moment, not least of the head and neck.” Sir Charles Sherrington 1857-1952, Neurophysiologist, Nobel Prize for Medicine 1932.

Tom also suggested that I watch this YouTube of Nikolaas Tinbergen’s Nobel Prize lecture. Dear reader, while I am researching out Sherrington, please check out this YouTube!

Ode to my Bicycle

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique, torn meniscus.

My bicycle is now ensconced on its trainer. With it I am rehabbing my knee. It’s a very retro hybrid bike, a Bianchi Milano Alfine. You know I am fond of things French, but for a bike, gimme an Italian Bianchi any day. Mine is heavy duty. It’s a great street bike. It’s just the thing for riding in the park. This type of Bianchi street bike is ubiquitous in Italy; rare to be found here in NYC. This particular model is not made anymore. I had wanted the bike in Bianchi green, the celeste color, but by the time I got around to deciding to get one, it was no longer being made, and the only one in the city in the small, women’s model was a white one. My former bike was a Bianchi touring bike. I could no longer use the racing handlebars, due to lower back issues, which, by the way, totally disappeared, along with my neck pain, when I started Alexander Technique lessons. I gave that bike away. If I had been taking lessons at the time, I very well could have kept my old touring bike.

Hmmm it seems that Patrick Macdonald, first generation Alexander trainee, had a low esteem of racing bikes similar to my old one I guess. Hmmm did he suffer from lower back issues too? “Among the instrument devised by man which cause mal-coordination, the racing bicycle must hold high place. The belief, held by thousands, that cycling along a road with hunched back and head pulled back and down is a healthy sport is an indication — if one wanted one — of just how modern feelings and mentation are out of step with common sense.” This is on page 8 of Notebook Jottings in As I See It. What’s up with that? And…could F. Matthias Alexander have been lukewarm on biking since he was so keen on horses? But…

Check out this passage written by FM: “I have personal knowledge of a person, by employing the principles of conscious control which I advocate, mounted and rode a bicycle downhill without mishap on the first attempt, and on the second day rode 30 miles out and 30 miles back through normal traffic. This same person was also able to fence passably on first taking the foil into his hands. In each case the principles involved were explained to him and he carefully watched an exhibition, first analysing the actions and the ‘means whereby,’ then reproducing them on a clearly apprehended plan. This, it seems to me, should be a normal, not an abnormal human accomplishment.” Man’s Supreme Inheritance, p. 136. Walter Carrington stated that FM was referring to himself! With all due respect to FM’s genius and abilities, umm…I don’t think so! On his second ride ever…60 miles!!! Gimme a break! None the less it’s an interesting passage. More heresy: what did “normal traffic” mean back then in that place? I’m assuming he was riding in and around London. Right now I’m thinking of those intrepid bike riders in the bike lane on Eighth Avenue around Times Square! Wow those guys are brave what with all the vehicular traffic–cars and trucks, the garment district guys pushing stuff, us regular fast-walking “get out of my way or else…” pedestrians, and oh, those slowly-walking tourists in that mega-busy area. Moi, Ms. klutz here…well I don’t dare to ride there, especially as I was once hit by a taxi on the much calmer Park Avenue!

Ma bicyclette

Ma bicyclette–isn’t it cute?

So…as I was saying…I get on my now stationary bike and rehab. When I first started p/t I couldn’t even pedal my bike at all, even though it is on the easiest gear. I would just use the seated stationary bike at p/t. Now I pedal away on mine 10 minutes at a time. I do think lots about how I’m using my body while pedaling…thinking about all this for the first time ever on a bike. I think about my head/neck/back, and I think about lengthening up. I think about my breathing. I try not to grip with my hands or arms. It’s almost a meditative state that I get into. Of course the trick is to try not to grip in any part of my legs. My left quad aches all the time right now. When you have torn meniscus surgery your quad atrophies like tout de suite. Building up that quad is of paramount importance! If I think “release” it hurts less. Well I’ll work up to 30 minutes on my Bianchi and then start to build up the resistance. I have graduated to the regular stationary bike at  p/t and I use it every time I go there. Anyway, Marcos the bike expert says that the knees control one’s balance–interesting thought right? And that I have to build up my strength and stamina slowly, and by the time the nice weather rolls around again, I’ll be okay to ride.

The second table-enabling Monsieur totally cracks up at the mirror on my bike. He thinks it’s pretty hilarious that I am using it while training. Hey, isn’t it important to check out the scene all the time? Doucette the cat might be up to some mischief behind me!

As I am thinking about cycling and Alexander Technique a lot these days, I decided to go research this stuff out. I found a bunch of articles, e-books and the like on this subject. Here is one on cycling and AT. Here is a blog post written by Mark Josefberg, fellow New Yorker, on AT and cycling in NYC! And here’s a very informative podcast — Robert Rickover interviewing Joe Searby on how the Technique can benefit cyclists.

Since I couldn’t find a clip to play for you, dear readers, of Les petits riens quotidiens…well…below is a clip of Yves Montand singing À Bicyclette. I would say, non-expert that I am, that he has a pretty freed up neck when he is performing.

And check out the hilarious send-up clip below of the Tour de France by Rémi Gaillard. “Allez Richard!” So maybe by the time I can roll my bike out of the house for a spin some people will be around to cheer me along with “Allez Rena!”

Shout out to all my pals on a certain “park bench” for their totally cool input and comments on the Alexander Technique and cycling!!! You guys (that’s masculine and feminine of course) know who you are and you rock! Gros bisous to you!

My little daily nothings…

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique, torn meniscus.

As I have a turntable again, I played my parents’ old vinyl recording called An Evening with Yves Montand. It’s from the 1950’s. It’s a recording of Montand’s first American tour. I think they might have seen him at Carnegie Hall. On it is a song called Les petits riens quotidiens… Alas, I cannot find a clip to include here. But you can find it on Spotify. The lyrics of the song state that things in life are really very simple and that everything starts all over again every day. And it glorifies the little daily nothings of life that perhaps we take for granted. Like the simple pleasure of finding again a friend. Or the echo of a song we love so well. Les petits riens quotidiens is such a song for me. So, I will continue here recounting my little daily nothings as I go about my recuperation. Since I have had to step off my particular merry-go-round right now I am able to reconnect with these simple, exquisite pleasures with abandonment and utter joy. I think that espousing the Technique enhances this joy.

I do have time these days to read lots. Such a blessing! I am currently reading a very particularly chosen mélange: F. Matthias Alexander’s Constructive Conscious Control of the Individual, Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, Mastering the Art of Soviet Cooking by Anya von Bremzen, and yet another re-read of A la recherche du temps perdu, Marcel Proust. This is an amazing mix for me right now and I am meditating on what I am reading in my solitude. I jump from one book to another. I am also thinking a lot about Albert Camus these days. He would have now been 100 years old. I found two links that really inspire me. One is of a recording of his reading his Nobel Prize speech. And a link to the English translation of the speech. How I have managed never to have read this speech before just amazes me. Me, who used to teach L’Étranger over and over again in French and Comparative Literature classes. Well now, as I am trying to find my voice in the writing of this humble blog of mine, I am listening to something so sublime! I am listening over and over. I am reading his words over and over. Here is one quote from his speech: “The artist forges himself to the others, midway between the beauty he cannot do without and the community he cannot tear himself away from. That is why true artists scorn nothing: they are obliged to understand rather than to judge. And if they have to take sides in this world, they can perhaps side only with that society in which, according to Nietzsche’s great words, not the judge but the creator will rule, whether he be a worker or an intellectual.”

Back down from the clouds: what I would like to do now is to write an homage to my table. It’s kind of a big daily something. Merci beaucoup to my borrowed table! It enables me to have Alexander Technique lessons at home! But really and truly mille fois merci to my three special friends who set me up with the table: to Madame for so kindly offering to lend it to me in the first place; to Monsieur for bringing it uptown to me (big schlep); and to the other Monsieur who arranges it, gives me table turns on it, puts it away, and gets a kick out of the fact that I take photos of it! Shout out to them! You guys are the best!

The table!

The table!

So above is the table with some blankets on it and my pile of books for under my head. The other day was the first day in months that I could do a regular table turn. In other words, my left leg didn’t need to rest on a cushion. Yay!!! Way to go recuperating knee! And below is a close up of my pile of books. Ooh…Le Horla…scary stuff! That the Maupassant is hanging out on my table is sheer coincidence. But fun… The second Monsieur just grabbed a bunch of books off of a shelf and said “Can we use these?” Ergo…

The pile of books for under my head. Ahhh! Le Horla!

The pile of books for under my head. Ahhh! Le Horla!

Not only was I able to have a regular type table turn, I was able to do a real chair turn! Oh happiness! Getting in and out of a chair! I think that I will forever be gleeful about being able to get in and out of a chair with ease and with good use of self! “It’s not getting in and out of chairs even under the best of conditions that is of any value: that is simply physical culture. It is what you have been doing in preparation that counts when it comes to making movements.” From Aphorisms, F. Matthias Alexander.

Slowly getting fixed up…

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique, torn meniscus.

I’ve gone through two weeks of physical therapy now. I’m happy to report that I managed to do five minutes on their highly uncomfortable stationary bike. It’s too big and unwieldy for petite me. This after not being able to do one minute on my own bike, my lovely, retro Bianchi Milano Alfine hybrid, which is now ensconced on it’s trainer, thanks to the expert assistance of the fabulous Marcos of Champion Bicycles. Not completely fixed up though… I do need a riser block for the front wheel, which Marcos is ordering for me.

The really fun thing that I did the other day in p/t was getting in and out of a chair! Two sets of 15 times! Wow! I gleefully did my two sets, slowly, while talking myself through them, imagining that my teacher was there to guide me with his hands.  An AT lesson at p/t! It was a fabulous thing to do, and it was totally unexpected. First time I’ve been able to get up and down from a chair in a few months. I explained to my therapist that this activity is a major part of my Alexander Technique lessons. Went on to elaborate about chair work. She told me, coincidentally, that one of her colleagues had taken an AT lesson the other evening! So I asked her to find out where and with whom, and if it was a group class or a private class.

Back to chair work. A few weeks before my surgery, my desk chair got fixed. It’s my favorite chair. It used to belong to my grandparents. It’s old and beat up. But it is comfortable. And homey. It’s the one I sit on the most. One of the legs kept coming out of the place where it was supposed to be. I was in danger of falling. I thought that falling with a torn meniscus was kind of a bad thing to experience, so my friend came over to perform surgery on it. I had no idea he was a carpentry expert. It’s kind of wonderful when you discover an unexpected talent in someone. Me…fuhgeddaboudit. No chair fixing for me. Well, I do have other skills… So…hoping that I will get as fixed up as well as my chair. And hoping that at my next AT lesson, chez moi, I will be able to use my chair for some real chair work!

Here is my chair, recovering from surgery...

Here is my chair, recovering from surgery…

I’ve been thinking about Gustave Flaubert a lot these days: “The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.”And “Innovation: toujours dangéreuse.” (Innovation: always dangerous). Well, more on that quotation later. Meanwhile, maybe it’s time for me to dip into Madame Bovary or L’Éducation sentimentale again! J’adore Flaubert!

English: French writer Gustave Flaubert photo ...

English: French writer Gustave Flaubert photo portrait (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Autumn is really here…

Posted by & filed under Alexander Technique, torn meniscus.

So I had a great day…felt pretty good…attended a flute workshop with Keith, in the nabe; started physical therapy; inaugurated my borrowed table with an AT lesson chez moi! Doucette the cat tried to climb onto the table while the lesson was going on but didn’t succeed. She was miffed. She acted out: when my teacher left, she ran out into the hall, but ran out too far. She got lost! She panicked! She started to howl! So I ran over to her, scooped her up, and ran for my door to deposit her safely inside the apartment. Doucette got lost like this in the hall once before. That was the only other time I heard her howl. She is quiet…she kind of chirps when she does meow.

Previous to all that, I had my first session of physical therapy for my knee. Road to recovery… We went through the exercises, and my therapist gave me a sheet of exercises to do at home. Check out this diagram:

With good posture...

With good posture…

“With good posture” hmmm…I decided not to ask the therapist what this means to her.

Two days later, at my second p/t session, when she told me to sit up straight well you know the drill…I lengthened up and widened… I asked her if she had ever heard of the Alexander Technique. She had heard of it but had no clue about what it was. Oy vey!

That particular day I was not feeling so hot, physically. I was warned that I would have ups and downs, and my physical therapist affirmed this for me.  Sigh, sigh… I know now that I’m in it for the long haul.

But, hey, I did receive my copy of F. Matthias Alexander’s Constructive Conscious Control of the Individual, and I did start to read. It took only a week to arrive from the UK. The postman actually brought it up to my door! Not bad! And I did run right into a dear colleague from work on the way to the subway after p/t! How I miss work! Hugs all around! We talked shop! We giggled about the FaceTime chat he and other colleagues surprised me with last week. That was totally cool! And it was the first day of autumn that was cold enough for the heat to be on all day long. Yay! My apartment is nice and toasty! Ah the cheery sounds of the steam heat coming up! Music to my ears! Really!

I’m thinking lots about Willis Reed these days…please click on the links if you don’t know which historic event in NYC sports I’m referring to. Greatest moment in the Garden ever? Most probably. Talk about great use of self of all involved! Let’s go Knicks!!!